The Heroes of September
by leefert
Summary: Taylor is searching for her father in the ruins of the World Trade Center. This is a little change of pace from my normal stories and written in memory of all those lost that terrible day.
1. Chapter 1

Taylor bent over; exhausted from the hours she had spent combing through the rubble. Her hands were starting to bleed from all of the jagged edges of steel that she had sorted through while trying to find someone, anyone at all in the pile. She took a deep breath in and let it back out. She took her shirtsleeve and wiped off her face and then went back to work digging through all that was left of the Twin Towers.

"Come on Daddy." She said to herself as she worked

There were hundreds of other firefighters and police officers combing through the rubble as well. They had found 20 survivors, but there were more people that they still hadn't found. They held out the hope that more would emerge.

Walsh walked over to Taylor and put his hand on her shoulder.

"We gotta go." He sighed, "We need to get some rest before our shift."

Taylor nodded as she reluctantly gave up her search.

"I'll be back Daddy, I'm going to find you." She said

Her father Angus was a Battalion Chief. He had been in the lobby of the South Tower when it had collapsed. Taylor had jumped onto the back of the Squad when the alarm went out. They were off duty, but they jumped on the truck anyway. No one knew what they were heading into. No one in that firehouse thought that they would return to quarters without their truck or one of their own. They didn't realize the horror that they would witness when they responded to the alarm. They were firefighters who answered the call and became The Heroes of September.

The bus pulled up to the corner of King and Arthur. The members of the Squad silently stepped off and walked towards the firehouse. It wasn't the same. Their rig wasn't parked in their bay, there were flowers and candles and signs stacked against the house. The table in the bay was filled with food that the neighborhood had brought for them. Some people watched them as they walked by, covered in dirt and blood and sweat.

They slowly changed out of their bunker gear and put their work shoes on. They walked slowly up the stairs. Walsh, Lombardo, and DK sat down at the kitchen table. Lieutenant Johnson went into his office. Jimmy stood next to the sink. Taylor walked up to the bunkroom.

It was starting to wear them all down, but Taylor took it the hardest. The rest of the Squad knew that her father was still on the list of the missing. Their coworker Tommy Doyle was too. The list of those missing was hundreds of names long. Hope was fading away that they would find any more survivors, but they had to hold out hope. That was the only thing that they had to hold onto these days. They would spend some time with their families, but not enough. There were memorial services to attend and then time to search. They were determined to return to the rubble and find those trapped below.

Taylor leaned over the sink and washed her face off. The cool water was a welcome comfort. She looked at her hands, washing them carefully with soap. They were scrapped up, but she could live with it. She changed her shirt and lay down on her bunk. Maybe she could get a little sleep, something that she had barely gotten any of.

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Trying to Sleep

Taylor let her mind wander. She was exhausted yet she couldn't sleep. She kept thinking back to that morning.

September 11 

_Taylor sat up on her bunk. She had slept well and could smell Walsh's famous breakfast cooking coming up from the kitchen._

"_That smells good." She thought as she got up and made her bunk up_

_She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth and hair. It was 8 o'clock. An hour left in the shift. Lombardo was still snoring away in his bunk. She laughed. She packed up her duffle bag and pulled on her polo shirt. The sun was shining in through the window next to her bunk._

"_It looks beautiful out there." She thought to herself. "Maybe I'll do some shopping or something today."_

_Taylor closed her locker door and grabbed her bag to head downstairs. Jimmy was reading the paper, DK had the TV on, and Lieutenant Johnson walked into the kitchen to get some coffee._

"_That smells good Billy." Lt. Johnson said_

"_You want me to make you up a plate?" Walsh asked_

"_Sure." Lt. Johnson smiled_

"_Today is going to be a beautiful day to get out and enjoy the city. Maybe play a round of golf, but don't expect this heat wave to last too long." The weatherman on the news said_

"_It's gorgeous out there." Jimmy said_

"_I think I might go play a round of golf." Lt. Johnson remarked_

"_I might join you." Jimmy added_

"_The more the merrier." Lt. Johnson laughed_

"_Is breakfast ready yet?" DK asked_

"_If you keep rushing me it won't be." Walsh commented_

"_Morning guys." Taylor said_

"_Good morning bright eyes." Walsh teased_

"_You know, Lombardo's still snoring away." Taylor laughed_

"_How can you sleep on a day this great?" DK asked_

"_His loss." Walsh said as he started to fill the bowls with the breakfast._

"_I'll get that Billy." Taylor said taking the plate of pancakes to the table_

"_No wonder I gained 5 pounds this month." DK said looking at the spread._

_They sat around the table and started to eat breakfast. The guys were slowly starting to trickle in for the next shift. _

_Tommy Doyle sat down with them._

"_Why do I have to be on B-shift? You guys have good cooking all the time." He laughed_

"_Transfer and join us." Walsh said_

"_That would make you a hero." Jimmy laughed_

"_It's a perfect day out there." Tommy said_

"_It looks like it." Lt. Johnson said_

"_And I'm gonna be stuck here working." Tommy complained_

"_Luck of the draw." Taylor said as she put some eggs on her plate_

"_Yeah luck my ass!" Tommy laughed_

_They slowly ate their breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. It was a little after 8:40. They heard a plane fly overhead_

"_That sounded low." Jimmy said_

"_Yeah, that's odd." Tommy replied_

_Jimmy was tying his shoes when the alarm went off._

"_Squad 55, Ladder 100 respond to Box 8087 1 World Trade Center." The alarm called out._

_The guys all jumped. Both shifts piled aboard the Squad. Taylor, Jimmy, and Lombardo caught the tailboard of the Squad as it pulled out of the bay and headed downtown._

Taylor sat up. It was more than she wanted to remember. She gave into the fact that she wasn't going to get any sleep. Finally, she grabbed some things from her locker and headed off to the shower.


	3. Frustration

It was 6 o'clock, or as firefighters put it 1800. That meant that it was time to eat. They hadn't done much in the way of cooking since the neighborhood was bringing in so much food. The firehouse lacked the familiar smells of lasagna and chili or their Monday night barbeques. Instead they just opened their refrigerator and took out some sort of kind gesture to make their dinner.

"I can't believe we have all of this food." Lombardo commented

"Well if we didn't watch you like a hawk we wouldn't." Walsh cracked

"It don't seem right." DK said as he grabbed a bottle of water.

Everyone looked at him.

"It don't seem right that we are sitting here. That people keep dropping food off for us and candles and cards. That those towers aren't standing downtown anymore. It don't seem right that so many people are trapped there and we can't find them!" DK slammed his fist down on the counter.

Everyone knew the frustration that he was going through. They all shared the same frustration. Everyone just watched each other.

"Hey how's Taylor holdin' up?" Walsh asked

"She's hanging in there." Jimmy replied

"That's gotta be tough." Walsh added

"Yeah." Lombardo added

"What's gotta be tough?" Taylor asked as she walked down the stairs

Everyone tried to pretend that they were talking about something else.

"Nothing." Jimmy said

"You're a terrible liar Jimmy. You were talking about me." Taylor said

"We just want to make sure that you're hanging in there." Walsh said

"Well thank you, but I'm no different than you guys." Taylor said, "We all lost friends and brothers in that building. Dad's just missing. We'll find him."

Lieutenant Johnson looked on from the hallway. He knew how tough it was for all of them, but he too worried about how well Taylor was taking it.

Taylor sat down at the table. She had found a can of Clam Chowder on the shelf. She opened the can and poured it into a pan to make it. She stirred it and made sure that it was warm enough. Then she poured it into a bowl and moved to the table to eat it.

Everyone just quietly ate. It wasn't the normal meal with conversations about various girlfriends or noises, the latest cars, or the Yankees. It was complete silence with the exception of an occasional utensil hitting the plate or the bowl.

"This is still cold." Taylor commented as she took her bowl to the microwave

Everyone looked at her and then continued eating. It was too quiet for all of them. Finally, the silence broke.

"Squad 55, Adam 55-3 respond for an MVC 123 and Lexington. PD on scene." The alarm called out

The Squad members dropped their forks and spoons, jumped up and headed for their gear. After all, this was why they were there. It helped them to take their mind off of the tragedy for a little while. They climbed into the truck. The open cab Mack wasn't their usual ride, but it would do. Taylor stood on the step next to Walsh as they moved up to the intersection of King and Arthur, made the turn out and headed off towards their call.


	4. Going Home

Taylor searched through the rubble, hoping to find some trace of her father. They were methodically searching grids to find whatever they could. She found a searchlight and an axe head.

"_I think I may have found someone." She said softly_

_Jimmy and Lombardo came over to her and helped pull off rubble. Then they found the back of a coat._

"_Lieu, we got one." Jimmy said, it was a mixed reaction because they had found a fallen brother but unfortunately it was another funeral that they would attend. _

_DK brought in a stokes basket and a flag to carry him out. _

"_Johnny Westin from Ladder 60." Jimmy said_

"_I went to the academy with him." Lombardo recalled_

"_I worked with him for a bit at 78." Taylor added_

"_Let's carry him out." Jimmy faintly smiled_

_The group slowly made their way out amid the salutes of their coworkers. A group of guys approached them. The 78 was visible on their helmet shields._

"_Mind if we take it from here?" One of them asked_

_The guys slowly took over the positions. Jimmy patted on of the guys on the shoulder and then the four stood and watched slowly as the group carried him away._

Taylor pushed her hair out of her face. She slowly packed her duffle bag full of her clothes.

"You going home tonight?" Walsh asked

"I'm going to see how mom's holding up." Taylor admitted

"You need a ride?" Walsh asked

"Thanks, but I'll just take a cab." Taylor said

"It's on my way." Walsh added

"Sure. Thank you." Taylor replied

"Can I ask you a question?" Walsh asked

"Sure." Taylor shrugged

"I want you to be honest with me, it's okay." Walsh paused, "How are YOU holding up?"

Taylor was glad that everyone cared so much, but she was starting to get worn down from everyone asking how she was.

Taylor sat down on the edge of her bunk and threw the t-shirt that she had in her hand into her bag. She took a deep breath.

"I have my moments." She admitted, "Some days are harder than others. He's still missing Billy, he's not dead. He can't be dead. He's missing." She started to cry

Walsh could see the pain in Taylor's eyes. She stood up and hugged him.

"We'll find him. I promise, we'll find him." He said as he wrapped his arms around her.

He pulled the Jeep up in front of the home of Beth Taylor. Taylor gazed at the front porch.

Alex was playing on the front porch as she heard her dad's car pull up. She stopped pushing her fire truck around the porch and looked up.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed as she went running down the steps

"Alex." He smiled as he put down his bag and picked up his little girl.

"Did you have any fires?" She asked

"No honey. I didn't have any fires today." The firefighter laughed as he picked up his bag and headed into the house.

"Well, here we are." Walsh said

"Thanks Billy." Taylor said as she picked up her bag. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Walsh smiled, "Taylor, try to get a little sleep okay?"

Taylor nodded as she closed the door. Walsh watched as she walked through the gate and up the stairs to the front porch. Soon she disappeared into the house and Walsh pulled away.


	5. In Pictures

Taylor found her mom sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Beth looked up as Taylor walked into the room.

"Alex, I wasn't expecting you. You look dreadful dear." She said

"You don't look so great yourself." Taylor smiled as she put her bag down in the doorway. "Everyone else gone?"

"Your uncle left a little while ago so that he could go to work." Beth replied

"Yeah, it seems like I live there now." Taylor said as she poured a cup of coffee.

"Is there any word?" Beth asked

Taylor shook her head, "No, they haven't found him yet."

Beth frowned a bit. It had only been a week since the collapse, but she had hoped that her husband would be found. "It is dreadful waiting."

"I know." Taylor said

"Are you getting enough rest?" Beth asked her daughter

"I get it when I can, but I can't sleep." Taylor admitted

"Maybe you just…" Beth started

"Don't start. I NEED to go to work. I can't just stay home while everyone is out there doing their jobs and searching for their loved ones. There are still hundreds of people who need to go home. I can't sit on my couch and pretend that they aren't there. I HAVE to go to work. I NEED to be a firefighter. For Daddy." Taylor started to cry.

Beth put her hands over her daughters.

"You were always the strong one." Beth admitted

"I am trying to be brave." Taylor admitted, "But Daddy's not coming home. Mommy, Daddy's gone and I can't find him." She sobbed

"I know honey, it's okay. It's okay." Beth allowed a tear to fall down her cheek. "It's a miracle that I only lost one of you to those planes. But your father, he was doing exactly the same thing that you would have done. He was getting people out of that building."

Taylor took a deep breath.

"I know Mommy." Taylor paused, "He got me out of that building."

Beth looked stunned.

"We had just come in when Daddy told us that he had enough firefighters and he wanted us to go search one of the other buildings. I think Daddy knew what was happening, we were outside when it started to come down." Taylor admitted

"_Chief Taylor, where do you need us?" Lt. Johnson asked_

_Angus Taylor turned and looked at the 8 people standing in front of him, one of which was his daughter. He paused for a moment. _

"_I have enough people here, go and help evacuate 7." Chief Taylor said, "God bless you and be careful."_

_Taylor looked at her dad. He nodded and half smiled. The Squad made their way between buildings 5 and 6 when it happened. _

"_Run!" Lt. Johnson ordered_

"_Daddy!" Taylor thought to herself and paused as she watched the building start to come crashing down_

_She wasn't sure who, but someone pulled on her coat. She turned back around and ran as the debris came crashing down._

Taylor was sobbing. Beth pulled her daughter closer and hugged her. She knew how painful it must have been to have been down at the site.

"It's okay baby. It's okay." Beth tried to soothe her daughter

"He's gone." Taylor kept sobbing. "He's gone."


	6. Medal of St Florian

Taylor lay down on the couch. There were pictures all around the living room of her father. There was the picture of them on graduation day from the academy. She picked it up and held it.

"He was so proud of you that day." Beth said, she had been standing in the doorway watching her daughter.

"I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him I wanted to be a firefighter." Taylor laughed, "He was so thrilled that one of us was going to follow him and grandpa."

"He was disappointed that your brother chose to be a nurse." Beth admitted

"I think he was more disappointed that Adam chose to be gay." Taylor said honestly

"Yes, he was very disappointed. But he never stopped loving him anyway." Beth said

"You know, I always tried to be brave like Daddy. I had to live up to the Taylor name." Taylor said

"Honey, your father never expected you…" Beth started

"No daughter of mine is going to be afraid." Taylor paused, "That's what Daddy told me when I was growing up, if I had a nightmare or something. I wasn't allowed to be afraid." She stopped again, "I couldn't not be afraid. The towers fell. How could the towers fall? I was scared Mommy. I ran as fast as I could. When the dust cleared, the towers were gone. Our Squad was gone. A lot of other things were gone. And I stood, and I felt like I was alone. That's why I was scared."

Beth watched her daughter; she knew that it was important for her to get the feelings out.

"I feel like I'm living a nightmare. You know, it's not real. It's some sick joke that I am stuck reliving. But it is real. The skyline is so empty. That pile is all that is left of the Towers." Taylor paused again, "The people… They think we're heroes. Like we should be wearing tights and capes or something. We're normal people! We chose to do a job that most others turn away from. That doesn't make us heroes. We are normal people! We live normal lives, or at least we used to until last Tuesday. We really are human. Heroes don't go through the emotions that we've had to deal with. They just don't understand Mommy, they don't understand." Taylor cried

Taylor curled up on the couch. She put the pillow in her lap as she pulled her knees close. She hadn't meant to burst out like this in front of her mother. She felt selfish for doing so. Her mom had lost so much. Her mom could have lost so much more as well. For some reason, some strange twist of fate, she didn't though.

Beth sat down next to her daughter.

"I know it hurts. But you can always come to me. You know that." Beth said, "Don't be sorry that you're telling me this. You need to get it out somehow. It will help you heal. Eventually, you'll feel whole again. Now let me go get you some tea or something to calm you down."

Taylor mouthed the words "Thank you" to her mother as she sat and starred at the pictures. She was feeling exhausted and run down, and felt an urge to go back to the site and help. But right now, she was right where she needed to be. She wasn't alone, and that was a big part of it. Taylor knew that somehow or another, she'd get a little rest to go back to work tomorrow and continue on. It still felt strange to her.

Her mom returned with a cup of tea for her. They sat down and sipped their tea together. It was a change of pace for her. It seemed almost surreal. Her mom lived away from most of the hustle and bustle of the city. It was so much different than her apartment in Upper Manhattan. It was quiet out at her mom's.

"Well dear, I would hope that you'd consider staying the night." Beth suggested

Taylor nodded. It was nearly midnight.

"Your old bedroom upstairs is free." Beth smiled

"The couch is fine." Taylor said

"Okay, let me get you some blankets." Beth replied, disappointed that her daughter chose to sleep on the couch. It was a few moments before she returned to the living room with a blanket. "Do you need anything else?"

"No Mommy, I'll be fine." Taylor said as she pulled the blanket up over her

Beth turned out the light and prepared to head upstairs to bed.

"Mommy." Taylor said

"Yes dear?" Beth replied

"I just wanted to let you know, I love you." Taylor said

"I know honey. Get a little rest." Beth said before she headed up the stairs.

Taylor lay in the dark room; she pulled out her St. Florian medal that her father had given her. She stared at it.

"Well, I guess there are two firefighters in the family now." Angus Taylor said 

"_Yes Daddy, there are." Taylor replied_

"_Here, you might need this." Angus said as he produced a small box_

_Taylor opened the box and found the medal on a chain._

"_It's St. Florian, the patron Saint of firefighters. My father gave me that medal when I graduated the academy. I had hoped to give it to my son when he did the same, but you're the one who chose to become the firefighter, and you deserve it. I'm proud of you Alex. Make sure that you always wear that medal, and remember who you are. You're a Taylor after all, and Taylor's are damn good firefighters." Angus added_

"I will Daddy." Taylor smiled and hugged her father 

"I love you Daddy." Taylor whispered as she kissed her medal.

She put the medal back inside her shirt and pulled the blanket up over her. Slowly she faded off to sleep.


	7. Healing Final Chapter

Taylor awoke to the aroma of coffee brewing in the kitchen. She wiped the sleep from her eyes as she walked in.

"Oh good morning dear. Did you sleep well?" Beth asked her daughter

"Yeah, I slept better than I have in days." Taylor admitted, of course at this point any sleep was better than what she had had in the past few days.

"Do you work today?" Beth asked

Taylor nodded. It seemed like every waking moment of her life was spent at work these days. There was a memorial service in the afternoon that she would be attending and then work.

Taylor sat down on a chair at the table while her mother poured two cups of coffee.

"You know that you can come here whenever you need to." Beth said

"I know mom." Taylor replied

"I just don't want you to feel alone." Beth said

"I already feel alone." Taylor admitted, "There's a huge hole inside of me that nothing will ever be able to fix."

Beth wasn't exactly sure what to say next, so she went with silence.

Taylor finished her coffee. "I need to go take a shower and get dressed." She said as she stood up and put her coffee cup in the dishwasher.

She went upstairs to take that shower. A short time later she returned to the kitchen wearing her dress blues.

"Your father always looked so handsome in his." Beth smiled and remarked as she adjusted her daughter's collar. "They look good on you."

"Thanks." Taylor smiled. "Thank you for everything."

Taylor gathered her things up and then went outside to get a cab to the service.

In an effort to help Taylor cope with the loss of her father, Lt. Johnson and Doc asked her to fill in as a medic. Truthfully, the 5-5 hadn't fully recovered from the loss of Bobby Caffey, and then 9/11 happened and there was no one recovered from that tragic day. Taylor agreed to fill in, doing whatever was best for the house. She was a team player and though she didn't really want to give up her seat on the Squad, she did. 233 days after the collapse, Angus Taylor was found. A few days later he was laid to eternal rest. He was one of the lucky ones, if you can call it that. He was one of the ones whose family got closure because he had been found. Over the next eight months, so many families would not have the same opportunity. Eight months and nineteen days after that tragic day, the clean up efforts at the World Trade Center site were halted. Some form of normalcy was returned to the Heroes of September. Shortly after her father's funeral, Taylor returned to the Squad. After all, she always wanted to be a firefighter first, paramedic second.

On September 11, 2001 so many rescue workers responded to a call that resulted in such a terrible tragedy. 343 fire fighters, and 126 pieces of apparatus would never return to their houses. The loss was substantial. But the Heroes of September are healing, a little more each day.

This story is dedicated to ALL of those Heroes of September, including the Firefighters, EMTs, Paramedics, Police Officers, and all of those involved in the Search and Recovery efforts (including the Canines that gave their lives to the efforts). May all of those lost rest in the eternal peace and serenity of the Kingdom of Heaven, and those left behind- the survivors, may find peace within themselves.


End file.
